Being assertive at work is advantageous in many ways. It's never necessary to become aggressive to express your opinion or to get what you want. When communicating assertively, you speak honestly and in a straightforward manner, show respect for the person you're interacting with, and use assertive body language.
Even if you're being assertive, someone may fail to respond. If you've met all the requirements for an assertive communication and your message still doesn't get through to the other person, you can follow four steps to incrementally escalate the power of your assertiveness:
- repeat what you've said – By repeating what you've said assertively, you give the other person a second chance to respond in an appropriate way. This person may not have heard you the first time or may not have been listening fully. Sometimes it helps to emphasize certain words.
- reframe your request or statement as a directive – In some cases, a colleague or someone you manage at work may ignore an assertive request. You should then consider rephrasing your request or statement so that it sounds more like a command. This gives more power to your request.
- add emotion to what you say – If someone doesn't respond to a directive, if appropriate, you should then include emotion in your statements so that the listener knows you're serious.
- add consequences – A consequence isn't a threat – it's a statement of what will happen if the person doesn't respond. For example "If you don't get me the data, it'll delay production and I'll have to report this to the line manager" is a valid response to someone who fails to submit information you need to do your job. Chances are you will not reach this step in the escalation process because one of the earlier steps will prompt a response. The consequence you outline should be plausible to ensure that it's taken seriously. You should also be prepared to implement the consequence if the other person still doesn't respond.
You should make sure you use the steps only when appropriate and only in sequence. For example, it's only appropriate to issue a directive if a person has already failed to respond to a request. If you use a directive when you don't need to, a colleague may take offense and your behavior may be seen as pushy.
It's appropriate to outline a consequence only if you've already attempted the first three steps. When you add a consequence, you still give the other person a chance to respond in the appropriate way. But if you actually implement a consequence without stating it in advance, it can come across as aggressive and unfair – and may alienate the listener.
To incrementally escalate the power of your assertiveness if you fail to get an appropriate response, you should start by repeating your request. Then rephrase it as a directive, add emotion, and finally, outline a consequence that will occur if the listener still fails to respond.